The Books
Towards the end of 2020 into 2021, when I realized I could finally read actual books uninterrupted for the first time since spending a summer reading A Song of Ice and Fire, I realized I no longer knew where I stood with this form of storytelling. I could guess I liked some amount of horror and sci-fi, and I always appreciate a well-written non-fiction astrology book, but… was that it? Proceed the most low-effort attempt at trying to figure that out.
And then this year happened. I actually branched out. As you’ll read, I don’t think I made the best choices, but I Made An Attempt.
John Edward – Crossing Over
I remember wanting to read this 20 years ago, and I finally got around to starting it in 2023 at around the same time that my mom died. Coincidence? Nope. I ended up fully finishing this in January or February this year. It’s a biography style book, with Edward here discussing the lead-up to the TV show that was airing around 2001 and explaining some of his history learning he was a medium and his peripheral experiences with mediumship. If you’re interested in the topic, it brings up some existential ideas. If you’re a hardcore skeptic, it’s unlikely to be a picnic as the whole thing is anecdotes. Since closed-door skeptics aren’t going to be reading these kinds of books two decades after their release, I’ll just say it was worth finally doing.
Over the spring I was doing some serious writing where I hit a wall of both pacing and trying to find the right words without repeating myself or sounding like a robot. I needed to branch out of the box I was in and read other people’s adjective-filled voices without breaking the flow too much by committing to a full book. I ultimately ended up wandering the way of AO3.
I learned I hated fan fiction way back in 1999, so “original work” aka porn it was. I read a few things, mostly things I don’t remember well enough now to find. Apparently someone wrote and posted a story about a punky lady stopping at a hotel run by bimbos, only to be mysteriously brainwashed into becoming a hotel bimbo herself; proceed insane sexual acts to please some unseen client. I read that and thought, wow, that was something. Another thought: how come I can talk about Hollywood movies featuring “interesting” sexual content (like, I dunno, licking a bathtub) on social media, but 2000 words getting straight to the point is like, WTF YO DANGER WORDS GRANDMA’S LOOKING *ban*? I get the idea of slow drip teasing and intellectual foreplay just in the sense of humans gonna human, but why does that get the sticker of classy, high-brow, socially approved artistic merit badges, but very similar content without the lead-up or atmospheric pretense is, in a word, improper or immature?
Anyway, I learned that absurdist written porn is still somewhat entertaining, I still don’t know how to turn 10 words into 30, and after repeat youtube recommendations about 100+ page books to read because I’ve previously looked at top-whatever lists looking for sci-fi and horror to shortlist, I thought perhaps I should mix it up and try some smut. The goal when I started reading actual books again was to branch out and sample what was out there, so, let’s actually go the distance.
Colleen Hoover – Verity & It Ends With Us
This was my first clue that maybe socially perceived “spice” was not for me. In short, these fucking lightweights!
Verity was an alright story, but the overall essence of the thing reminded me a lot of just-alright movies I’ve seen. It’s more dark, creepy romance than anything, where if it were a movie it would be a romantic thriller. The porny parts are brief, if vital to the story, and largely handled like a 13 year old christian girl whispering to her best friend that she needs a sanitary napkin even with the presence of being dark. The it’s-been-a-while (cue Staind) piece was excellent, at least.
That wasn’t a negative experience and folks were talking about It Ends With Us more, so I went ahead with that. Here things intellectually derailed – the ending of the book is a fucking bullshit attempt at empathy meanwhile shitting all over the sanctity of oneself or one’s family – and the characters were more wooden. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever read, and plenty of fictional and non-fictional people make dumb decisions, and I learned that I probably don’t want to read this subgenre, so it was ultimately an alright, informative experience. (Is it cool if I leave this run-on sentence here in this literary review?)
Liza James – Vibe
Straight up porn. I haven’t finished this, but for what I’ve read, the plot of this is pretty fucked up. It’s solidly in the “not for everyone” camp, featuring coercion, pedophilia, rape, murder and a whole lot of lesbian sex. The way the characters all talk to each other is ridiculous and toxic as fuck. If you’re familiar with the movie 8MM, this falls in that ballpark of tonal “vibes”. Anyway, the angry, aggressive sex got old and I’m having trouble getting through the final chapters despite wanting to know what happens already.
Ray Bradbury – All Summer In A Day
This is a short story, but because I read The Martian Chronicles last year, I figured I might as well include this.
Fair story, very easy read, not a fun ending. Recommended if you’re looking for a quick drive into woe town via route sci-fi. You can easily find it online at the usual places one might find “free” media.
Maggie Smith – Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change
I picked through a bunch of other psychology-adjacent books, but this one was necessary for a relatively quick skim when I was having an extremely bad day. The simple messages and platitudes helped on the surface but I didn’t relate enough with her specific story of divorce for it to make a true impact. I tried.
Kathleen Hanna – Rebel Girl
I got to the part just before the formation of Bikini Kill and crapped out, not sure I wanted to be sad about music today. Other things (see above) took over and I forgot to return. The first parts of the book were often difficult to read because of the subject matter, though throughout it I felt like I was listening to a friend talk. Teenage and early 20s me had a weird relationship with perceived femininity or womanhood thanks to not wanting to be seen as weak, stupid, a sexual object, or a housemaid, and rarely relating to being “a girl” (little did I understand that I was experiencing this regardless), so even though I was listening to Le Tigre and picking at Bikini Kill by 20, I felt an awkward disconnect from their overall girls-first advertising… and then I got older and it made more and more and more sense, and I really wish I didn’t live in a world that feels about as backwards as it did when I was literally a girl. Something something I will resist the psychic death. At this point in my life I think Kathleen Hanna is the bee’s knees. I shall return.
While that’s not literally everything I read this year (I also read a 200 year old book of poems!), that’s about as much as I have record of. As I’ve leaned into presumptively female voices and temporarily shifted away from my home turf, the question of what’s next comes to mind. Am I finally going to read a grown-up horror book? We’ll see where I land after I finish Vibe.
The Shows
I didn’t watch a ton of TV this year, which is a shift from the last decade of having Star Trek or Stargate lull me to sleep and binging at least one show per month. Movies took priority, YouTube videos second, and then I actually read some things. The shows I did watch and finish this year I also didn’t get super invested in – again, my attention was elsewhere.
But, as soon as it was out, I watched the newer Three-Body Problem. It was not as good as the Chinese show but had I not known better I might have found it fine. I’m more looking forward to what’s next for the Chinese series, so hopefully that comes out first.
Presumed Innocent was a random pick and was fine. Bridgerton was alright. Feud was a bummer watch. True Detective was decent. House of the Dragon was cool. Started to watch The Penguin, got bored, quit.
I’m currently watching Silo and Dune: Prophecy. I’m a little behind, so, no strong opinions yet, but they both look aesthetically good.
I’m sure I’m forgetting something (edit: I completely forgot about finally watching S1 of The Terror. Oh well.). Overall, it just wasn’t a big TV year for me.
One big marker of my year was not watching a single episode of Survivor. I can’t remember the last season I watched now but I skipped all that aired in 2024, and that was a first for me since the show first began. The whole thing comes down to it being a shared experience with my mom. We originally watched the show together, and then at the same time in different spaces followed by checking in the hours or days after. Once her dementia took off, that was that. It was weird to watch the show but not be able to talk to her about it and hear her over-sure opinions that I almost always disagreed with. Now the thought of watching feels like ripping open a wound, much like christmas just felt. I was too deep in grief and anxiety last year, but this one? Life is fucking bullshit. Sharing Survivor with her felt like a Forever thing, a staple to existence, and now… enh. I’m sick of feeling sad. So no Survivor for me.
Looking forward to Severance and finishing Yellowstone. I plan to watch The Creep Tapes in time. Curious about the Oscars as usual anymore. Gotta get back to From. A new Yellowjackets season is coming.
I’m sure there will be more announcements for 2025 in the upcoming weeks as the world wakes up again, so, til then.